Identity and Goals Statement

So I was faced with some professional adversity this week and it affected me. I won't get into the details of the situation but I will delve into the affects of it. For the rest of that day and the next day I noticed that my thought patterns were negative. Focusing on how I felt I was being set up or unjustly treated in the situation. I found myself thinking extreeme thoughts of venting my frustrations or getting a new job or finding appropriate ways to respond to the situation where I feel like I won or evened the score. I was upset that I felt like I was professionally going to be set back by the situation and that the damage was already done.

I got home after the second day after this situation had happened and noticed that when I got home all I wanted to do was chill out and put on the TV. Watch some TV and turn my brain off. Essentially I wanted to escape what was going on. I was taking a passive role as a victim or when I took an active role it was still in a negative aggressive way.

That's when it hit me. Not just in this situation but over the last few months I hadn't been keeping my active focus on making my thoughts positive. When my default way of thinking about things is positive it's very enabling and freeing. My body language is open and confident. When I'm thinking negative thoughts. I am still consciously aware of trying to have good body language but I appear aggressive and a bit edgy instead.

This made me revisit how I thought others might view me and how I thought about myself. So I opened up my notebook back to when I first wrote down my goals. Goals in the sense of personal growth goals not in terms of the accomplishment goals that I wrote to start the year. Before I read what I wrote before, I did the exercise again so that it wouldn't be filtered through what I wrote before. This way I could compare the two and see how different they came out. And what I wrote was decent, but what I wrote the first time was really spot on at a time when I was really spending time thinking about myself. And when I reread that in combination with what I wrote that night I realized that I'd been thinking negatively and not just in this situation. I think I need to come back to what I wrote then as a guide every so often to keep my thoughts on track. So I'll post it here as a separate post but I wanted to give it some context as well.