It's come up again. That same debate that seems to get revisited every 6 months or so. Finally it gives me something new to say. For those who haven't read my blog in a while because I haven't provided an update here it is. "More of the same" I've been thinking a lot of thoughts but haven't had any truely new and novel experiences that are worth noting in this space. Yes I've been growing, yes I've been improving my skills but it's been in subtle ways that make it harder to document and share. For most people they just have to see it when I'm out.
But that's not the point of what broke my silence. What broke my silence was the debate on "the 1-10 scale" came up again. And the debate ensued.
One school of argument believes it to be your personal rating of how attractive you find a woman. This point of view factors in personal preference for body type, ethnicity, fashion, etc. Thus allowing a person to communicate in some rough sense to others just how attracted to this girl they were.
I believe this point of view is wrong. Here's why:
A 1-10 scale is intended to create an arbitrary way that guys (or girls) can communicate somethings relative value and have it provide a consistent meaning. If you factor in your personal tastes then a rating of anything, not just looks, means different things to different people and you need more details about the rater (in this case tastes in women) to have context. Additionally if we allow this to be relative to the person then whe don't know the rating at which a person would find someone high attractive. Is it a 5, 7, or 9? Normally in most people's minds 7 -8 is about the starting range where they'll put someone they're attracted to. But again, you don't know. A person can attach some ego to the cut off point and say things like "I only date 8's and up" and then someone sees them with an average girl and says "she's not an 8" and then the person can respond with "she's an 8 to me".
What does this get us? A way to talk to other guys about our relative attraction to a given girl. And that's a good thing. But if we're factoring in personal preference, then why is it only based on what you like physically. Factor in personality too, if you're REALLY attracted to her looks but her personality doesn't click with you how does that affect the score? Now we can't even judge the rating from across the room, we have to know the rater AND they have to know the girl! We're drifting further and further away from the original intetion of having a scale. But this does give us value, it can help describe a persons personal attraction to a girl. It's just not useful for the communication within the context of talking about a woman abstractly and without seeing pictures of being in the set with someone you can't have the context for using a rating like this to be meaningful to someone who wasn't there.
Ok, now that I've shot down that mode of thought, let me explain what I believe it to mean.
The scale is intended to talk about a woman's absolute aesthetic value and that's it. Not her personality, not her ethnicity that you happen to like or dislike. If a white woman is the hottest woman in the bar, and you KNOW it! she's turning heads, getting hit on left right and centre, blowing guys off, you see it and you just know it... even if you personally don't like her skin, her hair, her style, she's still probably at least a 9 if not a 10. Why, when you poll the entire world on if she's attractive or not, the resounding answer would be yes. This isn't about if one person wants to sleep with her or not. It's about if the entire world does or not. If the average person would find her attractive, meaning you asked everyone in the bar if they thought the girl was attractive, and the majority said yes, she's probably a 7 at least. If most people would say she's HOT, you're probably talking about a 8 or a 9. Again this is just about how they look not how they seem as a person.
What does this gain us. Women have a much stronger sense of where they are in the pecking order of the world. For a lot of them, it's not about how many times they get hit on, its about the quality of the guys that seem to be hitting on them. They calibrate their level this way. This creates a way for us to be able to abstractly talk about a girl and her percieved value. If we both can agree she's a 6, then approaching her will probably be easy, and certainly easier if she appears to be a 9. With a 9 we're probably going to have to do a little more to prove we're above the crop of guys that will be hitting on her tonight. If a bunch of guys are hitting on an asian girl and she appears to be a 9, but you don't find asians all that attractive and you go in calibrated like she's a 6 in your book, you'll probably get blown out real fast because she senses that you aren't socially calibrated... she knows she's a 9 and if you don't then it's your fault.
Don't believe me? try it. Approach any girl out there, no matter what you think her value is, and intentionally treat her as if she's lower than that value. She'll sense it real quick and you probably won't be talking to her for long.
In a round about way, what I'm saying it, there is a universal aesthetic. There's women of all cultures of are deemed beautiful by the world population at large. Even if you don't think so many others do. When there's a woman widely reguarded as beautiful but I personally don't find her attractive I can still see why other people would go for her. I equate this to the Beatles. I personally just can't get into the Beatles. But I would sound like an idiot if I told people that I thought the Beatles were a shitty band as if that were universal. If so many other people think they are and I'm clearly in the minority then I must be missing something.
If a woman is an 8, which would infer that she's attractive and a person disagrees because he doesn't find her attractive, but the world in general would, then it's the other person who is factoring preference. But here's the thing. You don't have to be "attracted" to every 8 in the world. That's not the point! Typically I've seen a persons universal aesthetic and any given persons relative aesthetic value vary up to 2 points on the scale. I've never seen a 9 be regarded as a 6 by someone else. But I've seen 9's be 7's and 6's be 8's.
Heres why people wouldn't want this. Let's say you write your first FR about having some success with a girl. Let's be honest, she wasn't that great. People don't want to devalue their accomplishment in the eyes of others by saying she was a 6. BUT! If you can say based on YOUR TASTE, she was an 8... well now you've got a little bit of cache to attach to your success and others will too. This is a form of self-deception and desire to validate yourself within the community. This is a very bad tactic and precedent to establish for yourself.
Ok, that's some food for thought, enjoy.
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